i’m beyond devastated at the news out of newtown, CT. my heart hurts so badly i almost can’t stand it, and i’ve spent a good part of the last two days crying. i fell asleep snuggled close to Em last night, letting myself feel safe and calm in her bed. the Clackamas mall shooting hit very close to home, physically, and this now has hit very close to home for me emotionally. i can’t help but imagine Em there – my sweet little gal that loves school so much, and has such a pure heart. i can’t even comprehend the devastation of those families.
i also have a good amount of anger, both at the shooter(s) and at the fact that this keeps happening in America. i don’t like being so angry. i don’t think it’s helpful or productive, though i know it’s part of the grieving process. and in times of grief and crisis, i often turn to prayer. i don’t talk about my faith on my blog much – it’s a sewing blog, it exists to share the pretty and creative parts of my life. i don’t talk about my faith much in real life either, frankly. but today i wanted to share this prayer, which is a song i know from childhood. it’s based on the prayer of st. francis and it speaks to my heart. no matter your faith (or lack thereof), i hope you can interpret these words in a way that bring you peace and help you move forward as they’re currently helping me.
Make me a channel of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me bring your love.
Where there is injury, your pardon, Lord,
And where there’s doubt, true faith in you.
Make me a channel of your peace.
Where there’s despair in life, let me bring hope.
Where there is darkness only light,
And where there’s sadness ever joy.
Oh Master, grant that I may never seek
So much to be consoled as to console.
To be understood as to understand,
To be loved as to love with all my soul.
Make me a channel of your peace.
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
In giving of ourselves that we receive,
And in dying that we’re born to eternal life.
i will resume regular blogging sometime this week as i feel up to it. we are postponing our film petit post by a few days, and it will be a fun one. happy, positive, lovely things are all around us, it’s the holiday season, and life goes on. but i couldn’t let this horrific event pass without you knowing it has hurt my heart so deeply and that what follows on this blog will be posted in an attempt to raise spirits, share joy, bring smiles, and give peace. as always.
take care.